Tag Archives: prayer partner

8 Tips for Finding a Prayer Partner

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When I moved back to California my brother-in-law suggested I get into a prayer group. He said I’d need prayer support to get through the coming years well.  I have been with my prayer partner for seven years now. The past years were full of divorce proceedings, completing my BA and MA, and parenting my adult children. I have benefitted from this relationship. My prayer partner has been a friend, a mentor, and a mighty prayer warrior.

I think that every Believer would benefit from having a prayer partner (or two). Below are eight tips for finding a prayer partner.

  1. Pray. Ask God for help in this process.
  2. Know what you want. Make a list of things you want in a prayer partner:  stays on topic, loves the Lord, believes in the power of prayer, keeps confidences, etc.
  3. Read. Read A Dozen Rules for Prayer Partners, Part 1 and A Dozen Rules for Prayer Partners, Part 2 for ideas on how to structure your prayer partnership.
  4. Search. Look to see if something is already set up. I.e. If you’d like to pray for your children and their school, there might be a prayer group already in place.
  5. Observe. When it’s prayer time in your small group, church service, or impromptu prayer times, observe how others pray. Is there a person or two with whom you click? Note who brings you a feeling of safety. Who encourages, motivates, and builds your faith because of their prayers?
  6. Brainstorm. Set aside some time to brainstorm a list of possible people. At this point it doesn’t have to be realistic or possible. Then look at your names to see if these folks share any common traits.
  7. Practice. Look at your list and ask a few of your choices if they’d like to get together to pray for a onetime event. Look at this as a “date.” If it works out well, ask them if they’d like to commit to a prayer partnership with you.
  8. Ask. After you’ve prayed and done all the ground work, go ahead and ask. There might be a “no” answer. Don’t take it personally. Go on to the next person. I asked four women to pray about being a prayer partner with me. For three of them it wasn’t a good time or not something in which they were interested. But one said “yes.” And it has been a growing, powerful, exciting seven years.

Your Turn . . .

  1. Do you have a prayer partner? Why or why not?
  2. If yes, how did the partnership come about?
  3. Any tips to add?

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A Dozen Rules for Prayer Partners, Part 2

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Learn How to Be a Good Prayer Partner

When I moved to California after my divorce, my brother-in-law advised me to ask some ladies to be my prayer partners. He said I would benefit from such support. I talked to 3-4 ladies. It didn’t work out for us to meet as a group. And I ended up praying with only one woman. She is older than me and we’ve been praying for 7 years now. We are compatible prayer partners. I recently analyzed why our prayer partnership has been successful.

Click here to read the first 6 “rules” for becoming a good prayer partner.

Keep reading to discover the last 6 “rules” we follow(ed) knowingly and unknowingly.

Practice Gratitude. If you are praying, God is answering your prayers. Accept His answers (the yeses and the no’s). Accept His timing. Accept His right to be God. Be on the lookout for His intervention and involvement. Say thanks, often.

Share Yourself. Share your heart, struggles and growth. But don’t share more deeply about yourself until you are sure of the integrity and safety of the prayer relationship. It’s okay to take your time in developing trust in this relationship.

Structure Topics. Will you be praying for your children? Is the church or your country going to be the focus of your prayer? Will recovery issues dominate your requests? Perhaps you will both share whatever is on your mind.

Take Care of Yourself. Do what you can to limit distractions. Wear comfortable clothes and pray in a comfortable room (not too hot or too cold.) Don’t enter into your prayer time hungry or fatigued. Shhhh! Don’t tell; I have fallen asleep on several occasions.

Use the Time for Prayer. Don’t go in-depth on your prayer requests. Don’t get sidetracked into conversation. Don’t share personal information about others unless you have their permission. Don’t use this time as a covert way to “gossip” about others. Don’t use this as a time to counsel or be counseled. You’ve come together to take your requests to God. Make that the priority.

What’s Prayed Here, Stays Here. Don’t share your partner’s requests with others unless she gives you permission. Don’t share the answers either, unless you have permission. Many times prayer is personal and private. For many it requires trust in the other person in order to speak those requests. Be trustworthy enough to hear all requests with the intent and practice of talking only to God about them.

Please modify these “rules” to fit your situation. Like all relationships our “rules” evolve according to our needs and comfort level with one another. Plus I’ve had to learn how to be a good prayer partner. I am thankful that my prayer partner has been patient with me.

Sometimes you can follow all the rules and the prayer partnership doesn’t work. You just don’t click. After your trial period, it’s ok to stop. Just like we can’t be close friends with just anyone, we can’t be a good prayer partner with just anyone either. But it is so worth the emotional effort and time to be part of a thriving prayer partnership. I hope and pray that you are involved in such an endeavor. You will get to know God better. You will be blessed and be a blessing.

Your Turn.

  • Tell us about your prayer partner success(es).
  • What advice would you give on how to be a good prayer partner?
  • How have you been blessed or been a blessing because of prayer?

Related Posts.

A Dozen Rules for Prayer Partners, Part 1

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Learn How to Be a Good Prayer Partner

When I moved to California after my divorce, my brother-in-law advised me to ask some ladies to be my prayer partners. He said I would benefit from such support. I talked to 3-4 ladies. It didn’t work out for us to meet as a group. And I ended up praying with only one woman. She is older than me and we’ve been praying for 7 years now. We are compatible prayer partners. I recently analyzed why our prayer partnership has been successful.

Keep reading to discover the first 6 “rules” we follow(ed) knowingly and unknowingly.

1. Agree on the Format. Will one person pray and then the other one pray? Will you take turns praying on each topic? Who will start? Who will end the prayer time? Will one, none or both of you write down the requests? Will there be times of silence? When/how will you share answered prayer? Is it okay to pray with Scripture or in tongues? Would it freak you out if your prayer partner wants to kneel or stand? Communicate your expectations and preferences.

2. Ask Before Bringing Someone. Bringing another person to pray adds a different dynamic. Always ask in advance. Some people are not comfortable praying with more than one other person. If you are bringing an infant or child, discuss this with your prayer partner beforehand. Even good children need attention and having them there could hamper the flow of concentration or the sharing of personal requests.

3. Be Faithful. Agree upon a place and time for your prayer sessions. Then make it a priority to be there. If your prayer day is a Monday, decide in advance how you will handle the many Monday holidays in a year. If you keep forgetting or something “more important” keeps cropping up, maybe this isn’t the time to have regularly scheduled prayer.

4. Be Time Conscious. We are all busy people. Agree upon a start time. Being late cuts into your prayer time together and it can retard or destroy the growth of trust. Also agree upon a stop time. Consistently going past this time can stress out your partner. It can make it hard for her to concentrate on the here-and-now, if she keeps looking at her watch. Use a timer or take turns being the time-keeper.

5. Check Ups. Periodically check in with one another to see how it’s going. Are you getting equal time to share and pray? Do you feel safe? If not, is there something your prayer partner can/needs to do? Are you feeling frustrated or angry? If yes, discuss this. Praying is engaging in battle, spiritual battle. There are real enemy “forces” who will do what they can to destroy your unity and your prayer time. Don’t let the demonic forces win. Talk about it until you resolve it. Or maybe it’s time to stop with this particular prayer partner.

6. Make This Time a Phone Free Space. Prayer is conversation, a time of concentration. Stopping to answer the phone (or text) interrupts this sharing cycle. It can be difficult to get back into the flow. Turn off the ringer and let the machine get the call.

Of course, you will modify these rules to fit your situation. Click here for the other 6 “rules.”

Your Turn.

  • Do you have a prayer partner? Why or why not?
  • If yes, describe your prayer partner experience.
  • What would you add to this list?

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